today wake up very sad... ytd night quarrel wif him... he say i am not a good stead at all... ya i not a good stead... i really dunno wat happen to mi nowadays... i really very stress up nowadays... stress up wif studies, wif him and families... ya he nowadays treat mi very good... but sometimes i really dunno wat happen to mi... i feel lyk disappear from this world... sometimes i thinking so many ppl when missing why is them and not mi... i hate been myself... i ask myself why i change alot since last time till now... but yet the ans is dunno... ya maybe he and i problem are not him is myself... i hate myself... why i can treat all my friends so good except him... why aurore can understand mi more compare to him... i hate to hear tat word break... i hate been myself... i hate to make him angry... i hate to make him sad... i hate to make him cry... i really hate myself... have i gotten what i want... my dream is wif a guy who will not quarrel wif mi but gif in to mi de... i hate the feeling rite now... i hate to born in this type of life... is it let go better... i really dunno... god pls tell mi wat i going to do... i really very tired of this life... pls help mi... dear i swear tat i will not make u angry... i swear i will not make u sad... i swear tat i will be a good stead...