the day where i post till now is half a year le... hai... finally i decided to post my stuff again... coze mayb i veri sad... i change my link... coze i dun wanna let him see wat i write... he can dun let mi know den i oso can dun let him see ar... hai todae veri sad... early in the morning wake up den upset le... hai... ytd night toking to him half way he say he wanna put down phone coze he want to tok to hansen... but i got a feeling tat not him mayb is tat bitch... mayb is too harsh too say tat word but wat will u feel wat she did... hai let mi contiune... den he say call mi back later... he nv instead he sms mi say he going to sleep and not calling mi le... wat will u feel if u saw this... sure think he is toking to her de ar... nvm, den i online i saw him online... i say i thought u going to sleep why still online lei... he say haven he toking to hansen... den i ask hansen he lyk going a brush lyk hint mi tat he not toking to him... hai... nvm i treated at he tell mi truth... den today i ask him i though u ytd say u wanna sleep why still online... he say no he nv say that at all... nvm this make mi more sad... den ytd i go see my sis blog den i saw she link him den i go see... really is he blog i dunno at all... he say this " Don't you think some people deserves a second chance? Don't you wish for consistency? Some people emo not because they have a reason to be sad. It's just that they hope others will care for them. However most of the time the people they wish would care would not care which makes them even more emo from the fake emo they were. And it's always the outsiders and irritants that shower them with concern which makes them fed up. But what's so happy about being happy. When you see others being more happy and fortunate than you you feel sad. What's so fun about being happy. You probably won't appreciate being happy anymore cuz you have everything that you want.Somehow i wonder what it would be like if i could turn back time and change some things. Would we still be so close? Or would i just totally ignored you and bear the grudge against you for the things you said. There are really things i would like to change. But well, I guess by going through it then did i know who were those who stood by me.It's so true when people say you only look at people's flaws when you're with them and start to appreciate them and realise how important they are when you lose them. I guess i have tried to learn to be not as spoilt and demanding. It's hard. I'm trying. I've already survived 3 months of freedom and living cheap. I do crave for Sushi Tei and new com and many other stuffs =( It's back to letting people understand me and trying to understand people. Trying not to let my temper and pettiness spoil anything. Trying not to let my emoness scare you. But i guess it takes time for you to understand me and not be scared but instead be concerned. It may not be your fault but i somehow just want you see and feel the love and protectiveness. LOL. I think I'm crazy. Zz.Oh and it's so irritating when you get the feeling of when you can't have something so you don't want others to have it. =( Sadly it's so common and irritating. Selfish. But it's human nature. Sucky.Emo session over.I have so many things i want to buy and do =( Cut hair, Dye hair, Buy shirts, Buy boxers, Buy ring, Buy keyboard, Buy headset, Eat sushi, Clear my table, Tidy up my room, Go running, Train some muscles up, Play Dota, Spend time with you, Love you more, Go on a holiday ( Japan or Hong Kong Preferred ), Go clubbing " wat he wrote is it meant for mi or her... is for mi i sure will be happy but i really dunno... upset and upset... and i saw this blog make mi more hurt... he wrote " EMO SI LE LA, friends all ps me. Didnt ask me for dota. =( Had got school work to do, haven't completed them yet. Passed birthday present to Shu Ting. My heart was throbbing when I see her. Don't know what to say to her. Simply wished her Happy Birthday and asked if she has got lesson after lunch? What a dimbo. Wanted so much to ask her more, to chat with her longer. Didnt have the courage, I guess. " i really tired all this le... it just lyk he still love her... he say he nv... is it true or just lying to mi... i can forgive him easily but i cannot forget it... because whenever i try forget it will appear new things... why cant he love mi using his whole heart... mayb he trying to love mi... nobody know only he know... only till he tell mi only till he show it to mi... i love him lots and lots... the hurt i get is more and more... i really tired le wor... there is a hole in my heart this is the wound where u hurt mi... the wound is bigger and bigger... mayb u trying to amend but everytime u amend there appear another hurt not i create de is u create de wat u do wat say sometimes really hurt... mayb one day u can love mi using ur whole heart and heal the wound but every wound after healing there is a scar... to heal a scar oso needs time... mayb healing the scar at least needs 1yr or more... can u heal it totally? i hope u will u can... i really hope i could be the one who marries to u... i wish i can? can i? forget her pls... i know u trying ur best... i oso trying my best not to think but if u can help mi tats better by not thinking of her anymore... forget her den i will be happiest gal in the world... i love u... i really put in lots for u... A simple gal who wants to lead a simple life with a guy who she really love and he could love her as much as she could... i waiting for you to say dear i love you forever... baobei dun eva leave mi... i had veri long nv heard all this when den i can heard all this again... today oso went to bugis wif jie ting... haha... both of us is libra de... we lyk veri close... everyone in class oso get shock wheneva saw us... lolx... we go shopping i saw a gortic shirt really wish to buy but yet dunno should i buy nt... haha... nice sia... den we eats lo... actually she is a veri nice gal... haha... wish to ask her to be my godsis... but den i scare she dun wan... lolx... see how first ba... but overall she is a cheerful gal... i can say in the class the closer friend is her... ahha... and daphne and christina as well... wanna tell her this " dun think to much, i trying hard to forget u oso can oso we are libra babies the cuties babies in this world wor... jia you... haha " lol... a nice gal... k la i wanna cook food to eat le wor yummy... btw writing out all this feel much better le wor... dear i love you... waiting for ring tat u promise to buy for mi ( couple ring ) and waiting u to bring mi to sentosa which u oso promise mi de...