BEHOLD THE PRINCESS

a apologise note to mi and him

it has been so long since my last update... everytime i update onli when i unhappy... i nv update my happiness here... i dunno why maybe too lazy le ba... i feel so sick, so tired and so sad rite now... i quarrel wif him again... this time is i started it first... firstly, i wan to tell him so sorry... after been so many years wif him and both of us went through so many ups and downs, i should know tat how much he love mi and how much he care for mi... on the tue night, he just came back from malaysia... he ask mi go look for him, but i gif him those stupid unsmiling face... after tat at night i cry coze i thought he still like tat gal... he tell mi nv but i still go think so much... on the wed night, i went to look for him again... he wanna make mi happy but i just couldn't smile i dunno why... and den i hurt his whole heart again... and now he very cold towards mi... i feel so upset... all this is i started it first... and i can understand why he feel so sad... but den i just scare tat i will lose him and cant afford to lose him too... i love him... wad he say is right we going to get rom soon why i still ask him those stupid questions and go think those unneccesary things for wad... dear realli so sorry... he every morning he sure will drop a sweet sms before he started doin his stuff in the camp... everytime went he book out first thing he will come look for mi... and i still rem tat there is one day i went up to do the project and my hp got no bat... and den he try to call mi 8 times but i did not ans... and he so scare tat i will anyhow wif someone else... i feel so touch abt it... i know how much he cares mi how much he love mi but yet i hurt his heart... sorry dear... i promise i will not think so much anymore... i will onli think of our future onli... bao bei sorry... i just hope tat we can back to the normal and u treat mi like last time like this... so sorry... * i pray to the god, pls forgive mi for saying those kinds of things to him, i realli pray so hard tat i hope mi and him can back to normal like those days and he dun treat me so cold anymore... thank u god... *

# posted by VeNeSsA at 7:20 AM

love is a way of torturing someone

it is almost half year plus that i nv update my blog... i nv update coze nth for mi to say... this morning already feel upset some more he scold mi again... why u always want to gif mi so much stress... why always use mi and other girls to compare... yes i not pretty... in ur heart onli got ST... u always make me so hurt... yes my english sucks... why u always need a prefect girl... am i not good? why u always say break... it is very hurtful... i just onli cant pronounce the word and u so angry... wad u expect me to do... i am so stessful... gif mi one week to learn my english it is impossible... i feel so sad and hurt... can u dun treat mi lyk this... i not good... i always go down find u and without any complaint... i very tired le... i beg u dun lyk tat treat mi can... love is equal to accept that person bad and good points... i feel so tiring le... pls dun gif mi stress can... i want to take neoprint but u say u dun wan... i also follow wad u say... i always gif in so much... but why cant u gif in for mi... why when u happy u nv say anything... but why when u angry u will say it out... yes u express class mi normal academic and also retain before... u always look down on mi... just tat u nv say it out at all... am i so bad in ur heart? i wish got a guy who can love mi who i am, dote, treasure mi... i am so sad... god pls tell mi wad should i do... i feel so tired... love in my heart is just onli a way of torturing someone... am i fall in love wif a wrong person... can someone let mi fall for u... and help mi... there is onli one person can make mi happy, is whenever i see baby or kids... i wish to get married at my age of 22... so i can gif birth and make myself happy... a few pic that i find at the net make mi feel so happy...

can u make mi so happy just lyk he make mi so happy...

if let mi choose i will choose to happy without any worries...

i wish that u are wif mi right now...

if i can like u so happy without thinking of any thing it will be the best thing i ever had in life...

onli u can make mi so happy...

i never want to think so much... but u always make mi think...

i never regret to be wif u... but u make mi feel so regret...

if so easy to let go i will sure let go... but the thing is letting go a relationship is not so easy like letting go of bubbles...

# posted by VeNeSsA at 3:22 PM

go out with pei shi with happiness

today wake up at 10.35am... actually wanna wake up early to prepare but end up i sleep till 10plus... den went to bath and prepare... and get ready to go to bugis to meet my dearest pei shi... when i saw her she told me that she today in class do stupid thing... i dun wish to explain more coze i lazy and dunno how to say also... den went to buy a jacket which dear say is nice... den after that we went to eat long john... actually wanna ate others stuff but she say she feel lyk eating long john so i acc her go eat lo... then after that went OG wanna buy something but cant make up my mind so decided to consider first... then acc her go see her watch... but we cant find... mayb her bday i will buy her watch ba... not feel lyk sharing presents nowadays... coze sharing present quite ma fan... so better buy my own... den after that when we walk out the shopping centre someone gif me a brochure is regrading facial... den me and pei shi never consider and we went to facial... ended up very disappointed... i oso dunno why... den after that eat mac... den she at there surf her net and i put on my make up... den we keep on taking picture lo... den she acc me go singtel... after that she went back on her own... and i went to lan shop meet my dear... acc him play tower defense for the 3hrs lo... haha... below is the picture i taken with my dearest pei shi...

taken this picture at long john...

she seems to be crazy over taking picture... lolx... shhh...

haha... myself...

i love this lightning a lot... it seems to be nice...

taken at mac...

wanna kiss her... but i didn't coze my kiss is for my dear dear...

ask her act cute... she say she dunno... dots...

this picture is blur... coze pei shi purposely shake her hand... wtf...

i love this picture a lots...

# posted by VeNeSsA at 11:59 PM

went out with xin yi jie

it is a long time since i blog... i decided to blog to rem the memories who i go out with... today went out with my xin yi jie... went to k-box with her... i ate chicken rice... she ate the sushi set... at first not in a very good mood to sing coze having headache... after that all right le so started singing... den went to hereen... actually wanna go billabong to buy hand phone strip for me and dear... but is out of stock le... den jie oso went to HMV to see her favorite singer jay album is out... but ended up is on wednesday lo... she seems to be sad la... den we decided to walk to taka to see can find the hand phone strip or not... but on our way there jie quite angry... coze i ask something that she dun wish to say at all... so sorry jie... i just concern you... den when we reach taka also cant find the hand phone strip... sad... went to bugis to shop... went to help dear buy a hand phone pouch... den went to a shop to try some tops... got one tops is damm nice... but den it seems to be not worth it at all... den went to tcc for some drinks... chit chat over there as well... den bring jie go to my aunty shop at the central... den she bought a belt at my aunty shop wor... actually she wanna buy shoes but cant find those she like wor... den we oso took lots of picture at there... den after that she went home for her dinner... and i went to find dear...

the food we order to be share among us...

the drink which got lots of cream is mine... and the other drink is jie de...

taken right outside HMV...

taken this picture at the central toilet...

focusing at the camera...

i love the background effects...

i love her...

acting cute de me...

taken outside of a hair salon...

the tops that i wanna buy...

i love the tops... it is very nice...

# posted by VeNeSsA at 11:59 PM

friendship is that true

it is early morning 2plus... but i not yet sleep... coze i need to do some stuff... den went to see alot of ppl blog... and suddenly feel to write my feeling out... some of my friends went to ite... some went to poly... and some went to study private... but wad i know is tat no matter where they study they felt so happy... thats good for them... and i going to start my school soon... mayb it is also a new start for my studies le... but i always got that weird feeling... dunno is it i already half a year didn't study and slack for quite long... and suddenly ask mi go back to school is lyk wan mi to die ma... yes it is true that i love study not i act as if i really love but i find it fun to go to school... but now the feeling is not right... yes it is not right... sometime i find it time pass to slow for mi... but sometime i find it is damm fast... nowadays i feel i am far apart wif all my friends... yes it is all my friends... except a few ba... lyk apple and xin yi... i have so many friends... but end up i am so far apart wif them... mayb is my problem over here or mayb not... i oso dunno and dun wish to know... coze know to much oso sian... sometimes i think does friendship really true... last time de mi i will find tat all my friendship is true... however this few time when i need help no ppl really helping mi... mayb a few is there but the rest is lyk disappear in this world... but now i dun really care... however i only know tat when i got problem who are those true friends wif mi... no matter who are always wif mi or mayb not wif mi i will not mention names coze there is no point letting any ppl to know... the most important thing is i know can le... sometimes miss the days wif all my friends... but tat is past it can onli be memories and not my future... but i still must say thanks to all my friends who care for mi... and had fun wif mi... i really do miss ur alot do take care... mayb i will post my next post next week... once i school start i will update a bit more regrading my school... muhaha... nitex...

# posted by VeNeSsA at 2:09 AM

update my photo

just reach home not long ago... just finish upload new photo in msn, friendster and blog... and i oso change my blog song... haha... feeling so happy... love this photo quite much... it is been so long i never taken picture and change my pictures etc... i get my ring le wor... so happy... yup... i change another number... my that old number will not be using for a period of time... coze bill too high le must change another sim card... i will reply sms once i change back to that number... ok... hehe... den going to sleep at around 1plus... coze going to wake dear up... he need to do his homework etc... haha... den i think i going to play wow... then go eat some supper as well... hehe... last sat and sunday having work so quite busy... nowadays i trying hard to relax myself... and not giving myself so much stress... like that i feel much more better... haha... mayb i really having too much stress nowadays thats why feel so unhappy... IT fair is coming gonna work again... hoho... i can earn money again... wahaha... rem to go IT fair buy stuff ok... it is on the 12th june... muhaha... mayb that day i going to pon my two lesson on the 12th and 13th june coze i wanna work at IT fair wor... finally going to study again... haha... studying accounting... ur will surely ask mi where i study right... haha... it is a secret... muhaha... not mdis... not bmc... haha... lolx... hao le i going end here... coze i wanna play my wow... going to level my char... if not forever will be level 23 wor... and pay money to play de cant waste money... money hard to earn wor...

# posted by VeNeSsA at 11:59 PM

depression

i told myself not to cry anymore... but i cry again... i really think i am crazy... i really got depression already... actually long ago i already feel like i got depression but i dun dare to admit coze it is veri scary... nowadays i love to bite other people and myself... love to beat people... it is just like depression symptom... hai... i think i really need to go to see doctor sooner... really like mad woman... so scary... just now thinking to die... sms so many people to tell them i feel like dying... hai... once again make them worry again... sorry... scare i will not control myself for the next few months, years... maybe it happen too many things that why i cant take it... hai... why i born in this way... can anyone help me... can anyone intro me to see a doctor... can anyone be there for me... can anyone help me through... i really hate myself too much le... feel like dying... pls pls let me go... pls let me leave this world... pls let me forget everything... pls let me go back to myself... i really cant take it anymore... sorry...

# posted by VeNeSsA at 11:59 PM